Hidden Pain
by Jst27
Summary: Bella is having a hard time after the return from Italy. She isn't sure who to turn to. Set just after New Moon. My first fan fic. Father/Daughter bonding, not romance. There might be some Brother/sister bonding to. Plenty of unashamed fluff. Now Complete.
1. Hidden Pain

Homework. That is what you get after you run off to Italy for 3 days with your long lost vampire best friend, to save you vampire ex-boy friend form intentionally trying to get killed by evil royal vampires. So that is what I have been doing for the past few hours on the floor in front of the couch. I was mostly just trying to distract myself from missing Edward and the images from Volterra that I saw every time I let my mind wander. The look on the face of the women with the rosary as she was led to her death-

_No._ That is exactly what I was trying to forget. Edward tried to get me to talk about it, but I refused. If he saw what it was doing to me, it would just cause him more pain. He already feels guilty enough.

Charlie is currently sitting on the couch behind me watching some sports game on the TV. I started working a few minutes after Charlie kicked Edward out as part of my punishment. I would have started freaking out if Edward hadn't promised me that he would be back tonight when I went to bed.

He is going hunting tomorrow for the first time since we got back. That was four days ago. I'm dreading the time apart, but trying my hardest not to think about it. Hence the four hour long homework/study time. If I can focus on this then I can forget all the other things eating away at my brain at the moment.

Charlie got up and went to the kitchen to get another beer. While he was in there the phone rang.

"Hello", I hear him say. There was a long pause, then I hear him mutter, "Ya, just a second." To whoever was on the other end of the line. I wait expecting him to yell that the phone is for me but instead I hear him, shuffle into the other room to take the call.

Oh well, it is probably just private work stuff. Or maybe he got a girlfriend. It's not like I would have really noticed the past few months seeing as I was pretty much a zombie for most of it.

After about 20 minutes he came back into the room looking slightly nervous and unsure. I raise an eyebrow at him questioningly but he just shakes his head and comes back to sit on the couch next to me. I'm curious about what the call could have been about, but if Charlie wanted to tell me, he would have. I shrug and go back to my never ending mountain of homework.

Not too long after that Charlie got up and said that he was going to bed. I followed not to long after that, eager to see Edward again. I went up the stairs and into my room to find it empty. I was a little disappointed but figured he would be there when I got back from getting ready for bed.

After showering, brushing my teeth and putting on my pajamas I started heading back to my room. On my way it really hit me how tired I am. I start to get a little bit dizzy but shake my head and keep going. I notice it has been happening a lot lately, but I don't want to worry anyone so I just ignore it. It's not that bad. Anyways once I got back to my room I found Edward sprawled out on my mattress. I just stood there studying him for a minute. I couldn't believe I had him back. He seemed to be very deep in thought. When he finally looked at me he almost looked pained, but he quickly changed that in one of my favorite crooked smiles. It didn't quite reach his eyes though.

"Hello love" he said.

"Hi", I said as I went over to him and crawled under the blankets and curled up into a tight ball next to him. This is how I have gotten used to sleeping over the past few months, trying to hold myself together threw the nightmares every night. I took a deep breath inhaling his amazing sent that always seems to calm me and make me feel safe. He still has a weird look in his pitch black eyes though.

"What's the matter?" I ask him. He looked down deep into my eyes. Time lost all meaning. We could have been staring at each other for years and I wouldn't have noticed. I'm not sure what he found in my eyes but soon his eyebrows came together making a crease in between them.

"Breath Bella" he said.

Woops, forgot about that. Once I found my lungs again I took a deep breath taking in his amazing sent again. He chuckled slightly at this.

"You didn't answer my question", I reminded him.

"Nothings wrong" he said a bit too innocently. I knew it was a lie but before I could voice this he continued on, obviously trying to distract me.

"Carlisle and Esme were wondering if you would like to come over tomorrow and spend some of the day at the house while me, Alice, and Rosalie are hunting. Carlisle said that would like to spend some time with you and talk to you."

I winced slightly at the mention of him leaving to go hunting. The only time he has left me since we got back were the few hours between the time Charlie kicked him out and the time it took for him to come crawling through my window that night.

"I would love to but . . . we both know that Charlie would never let me." I said between a yawn. I ached to spend time with my 2nd pair of parents. The only time I have spent with them is when we got back from Italy at the airport and the other night when we voted on my whole 'me becoming immortal or not' thing. Both times I was unable to really talk to them.

Edward looked down at me mischievously "I Have a feeling that he will make an exception considering Esme called earlier and told him I'm going to be back in LA packing stuff up to get moved back here."

Well I guess that was who was on the phone earlier. Still doesn't explain the secrecy of Charlie going in the room or the weird look he gave me when he came back in the room. I wanted to question Edward some more but I was barely hanging on to conciseness as it was. Edward seemed to notice this.

"You need sleep. Esme already made all of the arrangements with Charlie and either Emmett or Jasper will be here tomorrow to pick you up and take you to my house. "He said while pulling the blanket up more securely around me, before wrapping me in his cold stone arm.

"M' kay", I muttered. And to think I would have given anything to be in this exact position less than a week ago.

With that thought I snuggled up as close as I could get to Edwards icy chest and slowly drifted off to sleep to Edward softly humming my lullaby.

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Thanks for reading! Don't forget to review and tell me what you think. Next chapter will be up soon. Thanks!


	2. Nightmares and The Cullens

Thanks for reading! Don't forget to review and tell me what you think. Next chapter will be up soon. Thanks!

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**Chapter 2: Nightmares and The Cullens**

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Okay guys. Here is chapter 2. I hope you guys like it. Thanks to my new beta Renesmee4eva. Don't own Twilight. Belongs to Stephenie Meyer. Thanks for reading and don't forget to review. Just a simple little thing to tell me if you like the story. Thanks!

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I was running through the forest as fast as I could. It was freezing and my lungs were screaming at me to stop. Sweat was running down my back and my clothes were starting to stick to me.

_They were coming. I had to find him first!_

I was running as fast as I could, praying that I wouldn't fall.

I came to an abrupt halt when the woman with the rosary came out of nowhere and was now standing right in my path. She looked scared and she was muttering prayers while clutching to the cross that was around her neck like it was her only lifeline.

"We have to run! They are coming!" I desperately scream at her. It was as if she didn't even see me.

Then suddenly Aro was right behind here with a devilish grin on his face. Before I could do anything he bit into her neck, draining her of all her life in seconds. Her body fell to the ground with a sickening _thump._

I turned to run, only to find Edward standing right behind me. His eyes were a vivid crimson red. The bodies of everyone I hold dear lay lifeless behind him.

"I'm leaving you Bella, and I'm never coming back. You are all alone. I don't love you. You are just a pathetic human." He said in a cold voice, each word like a nife to my heart.

Just then Aro came up behind him, severing Edwards head from his shoulders in one fatal swipe. Edward's body crumpled to the ground, then burst into flames. I couldn't run, I couldn't scream, I couldn't do anything except watch the love of my life turn to ash right before my eyes.

My eyes flashed up to Aro's disgusting, milky, crimson red eyes.

"Isabella" He said in a voice that sent shivers up my spine and made me want to puke. Another wicked grin spread across his face just before he came at me, wrapping his arms around me and sinking his fangs deep into my neck.

I woke up screaming, trying desperately to untangle myself from my blankets that were wrapped constrictingly around me. They reminded me of Aro's arms closing in around me. I couldn't breathe.

Through my struggles I managed to roll right off the bed, hitting the ground with a thump, my chin taking the brunt of the fall, sending a sharp pain through my jaw. I did manage to get untangled from the blankets though so that was a plus.

I lay there on the ground trying to catch my breath.

_Just a Dream. Not real._ I chant to myself.

I am drenched in sweat. Charlie came bursting through the door to see what all the commotion was about, finding me still on the ground, probably looking like a total mess.

"Are you okay?" He asks while coming over to help me up, and setting me on the edge of the bed.

"Ya, I'm fine. Just a dream." I answer once I got my breathing under control. He was used to this by now with all the nightmares I've had. I reach up to wipe some of the sweat off of my face, only to hit my chin, sending another jolt of pain through my chin and jaw.

_Well this is a lovely start to the day_, I think to myself.

Charlie is still standing in front of me. He reaches out to put a hand under my chin to lift my head.

"We should get some ice on that chin." He says after studying my face for a minute.

I stand up and head over to my dresser. Check the clock on the way. 6:00. "Ya, I will after I take a shower." I tell him. I was all sticky and gross from the nightmare.

"Okay. I'm gonna go fishing today, so I won't be home till after dark."

"Alright" I answer.

I gather my things and start heading to the door with all of my bathroom stuff and a change of clothes, but Charlie starts talking to me again.

"Esme called yesterday. She wanted to know if you could go over to their house. So you guys could talk."

Before I could say anything Charlie continued, "Now you are still grounded, but I swear that woman could talk me into given her the house if she wanted to." He says with a bewildered look. I know what he means. It is almost imposable to say no to Esme. I could only imagine how helpless he was throughout that conversation. I had to suppress a small smirk at this.

I gave Charlie a slight smile and said, "Thanks Dad."

He gave me a gruff smile back, and then started walking to the door.

"Well I better get going." He says

"All right see you tonight."

With that he hurried out of the room; me following quickly behind him, then down the hall to the bathroom. I take a quick shower, then get dressed in a blue long sleeve sweater and some comfy jeans. These are the only jeans that fit anymore. All the other ones are to big now. I glance at the mirror and notice my chin for the first time. It's all red and angry looking, and my bottom lip is kind of swollen too. My chin also had a small, but noticeable scratch on it.

Great. Emmett is so going to make fun of me for this.

I head back to my room and go pick up the blankets that are spewed everywhere next to my bed. As I'm picking up the last blanket I see a piece of paper flutter to the floor. I pick it up and see it has a note written on it.

_Bella my love, I'm sorry for going before you have woken. I will be back_

_tomorrow afternoon. Emmett will be here to pick you up at 8:30. I love you_

_more than life itself. Be safe. – Edward_

I reread the second to last line a few more times, letting it sink in. I couldn't help but flash back to my nightmare.

_I'm leaving you Bella, and I'm never coming back._ _You are all alone_._ I don't love you. You are just a pathetic human._

Those words made the edges of the hole in my chest start to throb. They made so much more since then the words written in the note-

_No!_ I yelled at myself. _Edward came back! He loves you! He has always loved you!_

I willed the rest of me to believe this. I shoved away the bad thoughts.

I ran down stairs, tripping on the bottom step, but catching myself on the railing. I got some ice from the freezer. I put it in a towel and held it to my chin. Hopefully this would get some of the swelling down before Emmett got here. I checked the clock. He would be here in an hour. I thought about getting some breakfast but I really wasn't hungry so I settled on nibbling on an apple.

While I was waiting I decided to pick up around the house a little bit. There really wasn't much to do so I went and did some of my homework, trying to keep my mind busy. Before I knew it was 8:25. I went to the kitchen to watch out the window for Emmett.

Sure enough at exactly 8:30 Emmett's monstrous jeep screeched to a halt in front of my house. I quickly walked out the front door, locking it behind me. When I got to the car Emmett was opening the passenger door for me.

"Hey Emmett" I said happily.

"Hey Bella" He nearly shouted, before picking me up into one of his huge bear hugs, crushing me to him. I couldn't help but giggle at this. I missed him so much. He twirled me around a couple of times before setting me down in the passenger seat of his Jeep. He quickly strapped me into the ridiculous off road harness and then we were on our way to the Cullen's.

Emmett was singing along loudly to the radio, barely paying any attention to the road even though we were going well past 100 mph. After the song ended he turned to me.

"So what happened to your chin?" He asked.

I felt my cheeks get hot, and ducked my head down.

"Umm… I kind of fell out of bed."

He looked like he didn't quite believe me. When he realized I wasn't joking he busted out laughing. His booming laugh hurt my ears.

"Only you Bella. Only you." He said with a big grin on his face. By now we were on the twisting dirt road that lead to the house. He was still going well over 100 mph and I was hanging on to the seat for dear life. The car came to an abrupt halt in front of the house, and Emmett was already on my side of the car undoing the death trap of a harness.

He was setting me on the ground when I noticed Esme and Carlisle standing by the front door. I practically ran to Esme giving her a huge hug. She squeezed me to her gently. I sighed happily. I missed her hugs so much! They made me feel so warm and loved despite her freezing body.

"Hello dear, how are you?" She asked. I pulled back from the hug but kept both my hands securely in hers.

"I'm good Esme. I'm so happy to see you. How are you?" I asked.

"Oh I'm so happy to see you too. I'm doing very well." She answers, releasing my hands and stepping off to the side a little. Carlisle stepped forward and enveloped me in another gentle, protective hug. It made me feel so safe, like nothing could hurt me.

"Hello Bella."

"Hi" I said back.

I held on for a couple more seconds, soaking in the feeling before stepping back. He stepped back to, looking at my face, with a slight frown.

"Are you okay? What happened to your chin?" He asked.

I looked down blushing in embarrassment again. Before I could answer Emmett came up from behind me and answered for me.

"She fell out of bed this morning. Only person I know that could hurt herself while laying down." He said chuckling to himself as he went into the house. My face got even hotter.

"May I?" Carlisle said gesturing to my chin.

"I'm fine, but you can check it out if you want." I said, knowing he would only worry if I told him no.

He reached up placing his hands on either side of my face and feeling the top of my jaw with the lightest of pressure from his fingertips. He moved down my jaw till he got to my chin, then used one of his thumbs to gently press on my chin. His cool fingers felt good on my angry chin.

"Well everything feels fine, but in afraid it will be sore." He said with an apologetic look on his face. I already knew this but I'm sure he felt better knowing I didn't seriously injure myself.

"Come on Bella, let's go inside." Esme said while already pulling me inside the house.

"Are you hungry sweetheart? I could make you some breakfast." She said once we were in the house and I was sitting comfortably on the sofa. Carlisle was in the chair next to me. I'm not sure were Emmett ran off to, and I'm sure Jasper was around here somewhere.

"No Esme I'm fine. Don't trouble yourself. I grabbed an apple at the house before I came." well some of an apple anyways.

"Oh it's no trouble at all. I will just make you some eggs and a couple of pancakes". Before I could protest any further she was gone. I really wasn't hungry, but it seemed to make Esme happy to take care of me.

I looked over at Carlisle to find him staring intently at me. The stare quickly turned into a kind smile.

"You really should eat more for breakfast. It is the most important meal of the day you know?" He joked lightly.

I smiled and looked down. It was more than I have eaten for breakfast in quite a while actually. I don't think it was a very good idea to tell him that though.

"Ya I know. I just wasn't very hungry this morning." I replied quietly. He just nodded in reply.

"So did they give you your job back at the hospital?" I asked him.

He chuckled at this. "Yes, they were very happy to have me back. Apparently they missed me very much. Some of the nurses are even planning a small 'Welcome Back' party for me."

"Of course they missed you Carlisle. It's pretty hard not to miss you when you are gone. Not to mention you are probably the best doctor in the world." I said.

He just looked down with a kind of guilty look in his eyes.

Oh great now I made him feel guilty. Me and my stupid big mouth.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"You have nothing to apologize for. You have done nothing wrong." He cut me off.

Esme came in just then with a plate of steaming eggs and pancakes. _That was fast_. She had probably already made them before I got here.

"Here you are sweetie", She said setting the plate down on the coffee table in front of me.

They looked and smelled delicious. I felt a cool breeze behind me, and Emmett was standing right beside me leaning over the back of the couch. Jasper was now in the corner of the room. I smiled at him and he smiled back kindly.

I looked back at Emmett and his face was all scrunched up staring at my plate.

"Does that smell good to you?" He asked.

"Yes", I answered simply, while smiling at his expression.

I lean forward and take a bite of a pancake.

"Wow Esme these taste great!" Esme smiled down at me.

"I'm glad that you like them." She said happily.

Emmet made a funny face. He leans forward and rips off a small piece of one of the pancakes. He just kind of poked at it for a minute examining it before shrugging and taking taking a small bite of it. He instantly spat it back out.

"Eww, that's disgusting!" he yells.

The whole room burst into laughter, all except for Emmett of course.

"Have you really never tried human food before? I mean you are in a cafeteria full of food every school day. You never complain about the smell there." I say.

"Well in the cafeteria there are much more appealing smells", He says giving me a knowing look ,"and no, I have never tried human food before, and never plan on doing it again. Come on Jazz, let's go find something to get the pancake taste out of my mouth." He says.

Jasper quickly followed him out the door, still laughing.

"It's not funny! That was the worst thing I have ever tasted!" I hear Emmett yell from outside.

After I finally stop laughing I turned back to my plate. I ate one of the pancakes and some of the eggs, but I am stuffed by then.

"I'm sorry Esme. It was really good, but I'm really just not very hungery." I say.

She has a slight frown on her face but answers "That's fine dear. I will just put it in a box and you can take it home and eat the rest tomorrow for breakfast."

She picks up the plate and heads back to the kitchen with it.

Carlisle clears his throat, obviously trying to get my attention. I mean, what vampire needs to clear their throat?

"Bella, would you like to go for a walk? There is a nice little stream in a small clearing not far from here that I would like to show you." He says with one of his signature kind smiles.

"Of course I would Carlisle. That sounds really nice." I say.

We stood up and started heading to the door. Carlisle offered me his arm and I quickly looped mine through his and we headed out of the house.


	3. Opening up

**Chapter 3: Opening up**

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Here is Chapter 3 guys. Tell me what you think. Thanks to my beta Renesmee4eva.

Thanks.

I do not own Twilight or any of it's characters. They belong to Stephenie Meyer.

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Chapter 3

We walked out of the house and he led me to the edge of the woods on the right side of the house. I stopped and looked into the trees. All of the treturous roots and hidden rocks that I could stumble on made me a little nervous. I looked up at Carlisle to find a questioning look on his face.

"If you are planning on taking me in there you should probably bring your medical bag because we are bound to need it." I told him.

He chuckled and pulled his arm more tightly around my own.

"I promise not to let you fall." He said while pulling me into the thick vegetation.

True to his word he didn't let me fall. Yet anyways. We had been walking for about 15 minutes at a slow human pace. It was probably starting to bug Carlisle but he showed nothing but his normal calm exterior. We hadn't said anything yet but it wasn't awkward. It was a nice comfortable silence.

"So Bella, how have you been?" Carlisle asked me.

"I've been fine" I answered automatically. I really didn't want to talk about how I have been. I mean what was I supposed to say?_ I have been a total mess since you all have left, taking a big hunk of my chest with you, and while you were gone I became an adrenaline junkie so that I could trigger hallucinations of Edward. And now that you are back I am constantly worrying about you leaving again. Oh, and also I am haunted about the events that happened in Volterra and having horrible nightmares about everyone I love dying at the hand of my lover._

Ya, I'm sure he would handle that really well. Surely he would feel bad or guilty and then send me off to an insane asylum.

I could tell he saw threw my lie.

"Bella we both know that isn't the truth. I hope you aren't upset with me but I talked to Charlie last night. I asked him about the time we were away" _u oh _" He told me how bad things got for you. I will respect your wishes if you do not want to talk to me about it but you need to know that you can always come to me. I promise that I can keep whatever you tell me from Edward. I have gotten very good at shielding my thoughts from him. Even if you do not wish to talk to me I urge you to find someone to talk to. Keeping these feelings inside will only make matters worse." He said in a worried and almost desperate voice.

I wasn't quite sure what to say to this, so I just nodded in response. Maybe I should talk to him. I mean he is like a father to me. I really do want to talk to someone, it was tearing me up on the inside, but could he really keep his promise not to let Edward know? This would cause him so much pain if he knew how it was making me feel. I don't have anyone else to turn to though. I can't go on like this much longer, that much I know for sure. I get that he just wants to help but there really isn't much that he can do. All of those people were still dead, he couldn't change that. Aro is still out there. Edward and the rest of them could still get up and leave me again at any time.

We were still walking along threw the forest while I was contemplating all of this. Carlisle pulled me threw an opening in between some bushes and the site in front of me halted my inner turmoil In its place

In front of me was a small meadow with bright yellow and orange flowers scattered about it. It smelled so wonderful. There were even butterflies fluttering around. It reminded me so much of mine and Edward's meadow. I heard the sound of trickling water. I found a little stream running along the left side of the meadow. There was a long bolder sitting next to the stream.

"Wow Carlisle this place is beautiful" I said.

He smiled down at me. "Yes, I find it very peaceful to come here when I have something on my mind or have had a bad day. It helps me to clear my head. "

He led me over to the bolder by the stream and we sat down on it. It truly was peaceful here. I looked down at the water in front of me to find a group of little minnows in it swimming against the current, fighting to stay in the same spot. I couldn't help but sympathize with them, always having to battle against the current.

I looked up at Carlisle and was brought back to our earlier conversation. It hit me then that I truly did want to talk to him. I guess hadn't really thought about it since I didn't think I had anyone to turn to. I knew I could trust him with my secrets and that he would never betray me. He was looking back at me with his butterscotch eyes. They held so much emotion in them. I could tell then he already knew how much pain I was in.

"Are you sure you can keep your thoughts from Edward?" I asked him in a small voice.

"Yes, I promise that anything you tell me will be kept between us." He answered in a serious voice. I had no doubt in my mind that he was telling the truth.

I looked down at my hands that were in my lap and took a deep breath, then started talking.

"When you guys left, when Edward left, it was like everything inside of me went with you. The first week was so bad. I couldn't do anything but lay there and let the pain take over everything. I saw what it was doing to Charlie so I started making an effort. I went to school and work. I did all of my homework and cooked dinner every night, but I was just a hollow empty shell at that point. I was just going through the motions not really paying attention to anything. After a while people stopped trying to talk or interact with me."I wasn't even thinking about what I was saying . I was just letting it all out.

"It went on like that for four months. That's when I woke up. It felt so weird to not just be numb to everything around me. When the pain came back I tried desperately to go back to the numbness, but I couldn't do it. It was like someone had punched me in my chest and left a big gaping hole." I said the last part in almost a whisper but I'm sure he heard me.

"Things started to get better when I started hanging out with Jake. He brought a spark of life back into me. He was like the sun lighting up my dark empty world. It still hurt and I still struggled when he was gone. I discovered that when I was doing something stupid or dangerous, I could remember Edward better. I could hear him yelling at me to stop, That I had promised to stay safe. That is why I jumped of off of that stupid cliff. Then Alice came back. I'm pretty sure you know what happened after that, in Volterra. I'm pretty sure Jake will never want to talk to me again now."

Carlisle nodded and waited for me to continue. I think he knew that I just needed to spill everything out. I had been bottling everything up for months now so he just let me continue.

"I've been having nightmares about what happened there," I said "Every time I let my mind wander it goes back to the people that were being taken into Aro's chamber. There was small woman in the back of the crowd that had a panicked look on her face. She was clutching to a rosary and I could tell that she knew where she was and what was about to happen. I couldn't do anything to help them though. Their screams started before Edward could get me out of there. I'd never heard… I didn't know that humans could sound so terrified.

Tears had started running down my face. Carlisle put a cold arm around me and pulled me to his side. I was still looking down at my hands. He reached over and put a hand over both of my own before I continued.

"In my dreams Aro is coming after me. I am running through the forest as fast as I can and I am trying to find Edward. The woman with the rosary comes out of no were. She has the same terrified look on her face but before I can do anything Aro comes up from behind her and kills her right in front of me." My hands are starting to shake and I feel a sob building in my throat just thinking about the next part. "I turn around to find Edward. Behind him are the dead bodies of all of my friends and family. Then Aro kills him and his body bursts into flames. Then… he… he…"

I couldn't talk anymore. Sobs came ripping out of my chest and my whole body stating to shake. Carlisle pulled me onto his lap and wrapped his arms around me while rubbing soothing circles onto my back. I buried my face into his chest and gripped his shirt into my fists. His embrace reminded me of when I was little, and my dad would pick me up after had fallen down and skinned my knee or something.

"Shh, Bella shh" he said while rocking me slightly, "I would never let that happen to you or Edward. What they did to those people was horrible, but you have to know that no one in this family would ever let anything happen to you."

I was starting to become hysterical. Sure, they wouldn't let anything happen if they were here, but what if something happens again before I am changed and they leave again. What if _Edward_ leaves me again? There would be no one to keep them from me. They would know that Edward lied to them and they would go after him and the rest of the Cullens after they killed me.

"But… what if… you… leave again?... What if they come… to check and see if …I'm a vampire and …you are not here?... What if they… decide to punish all of you guys …after me? What if …they change their minds… and decide to come early?" I asked in between sobs. I think I was starting to hyperventilate. I couldn't breathe and I was starting to get dizzy.

Oh god, what if they were on their way right now?

Carlisle pulled back from me even though I still clung to his shirt. He pulled my face up and put his hands on either side of my face so that I was looking directly into his eyes.

"Bella, you need to calm down, no one is coming to get you. I would never even let them get close. You need to slow your breathing. Look at me." He said, then started taking deep, even breaths trying to coach me into normal breaths.

It took a while but I finally got my breathing under control. The sobs that had been coming out of my body finally stopped, but the tears and the shaking just wouldn't let up.

Carlisle was still looking into my eyes, worry and regret written all over his face.

"Bella I promise that we will never leave you again. Leaving in the first place was a monumental mistake. I cannot ever apologize enough for what we did to you. I give you my word that we will never leave you again." He said again probably hoping it would sink in.

"The time away from you was horrible." He continued" It made me realize how much of a daughter to me that you are. The entire family was a wreck. Emmett and Alice were sad all of the time. Esme felt just as lost as I did. Jasper felt guilty thinking that he causing this whole mess and could hardly be around any of us because of the overwhelming sense of loss constantly emanating off all of us. Rosalie was always mad. She blamed Edward for making such a huge mistake that put the entire family into total turmoil. Edward hardly ever left his room. The only time we could get him to come out was when the thirst became too much for him and he had to go hunting. When he left to go and track down Victoria he didn't even say good bye. He just got up and left one night."

"What I'm trying to say is that I don't think that this family can survive without you anymore. You have changed all of us on some level and somewhere along the way became essential to our existence."

His words took me by surprise. Surely I wasn't that important to all of them. They were all beautiful immortal creatures that have been together for almost a century. I was just an average 18 year old human girl that could barely walk down the hallway without tripping over my own two feet. Could I really mean so much to all of them?

The look in Carlisle's eyes told me that everything he just told me was the total and complete truth. I didn't understand it, but I was very, very grateful.

When Edward came back the hole in my chest had mostly disappeared but with Carlisle words the final pieces of the edges had finally sealed up and disappeared completely. I could feel warmth spreading out from my chest and filling up my whole body.

"You're really not leaving again" I said meaning for it to be a statement but came out sounding like a question.

"No, I swear on my life that we will never leave you again." Carlisle said.

I threw my arms around Carlisle and started crying again. It felt like a great weight had been lifted off of me. I could actually breathe for the first time in months.

I finally let myself believe and embrace that they weren't going to leave me alone again. Even if the Volturi did come after me, I knew now that I would not be alone. I was going to live forever with the absolute best vampire family there would ever be. I would have the love of my life by my side forever as well. I couldn't ask for more. I knew that I could take on anything as long as I had them by my side.

It suddenly hit me how exhausted that I was. All the sobbing and overwhelming emotions really took its toll. Not to mention I didn't sleep very good last night. I slumped into Carlisle's chest. He wrapped his cold stone arms around me and we just sat in silence enjoying the peace that this little meadow brought us. I felt so comfortable and safe. It was probably the safest I've felt outside of Edwards arms in months.

Without really realizing it I slowly drifted off into a peaceful sleep in my amazing second fathers arms.


	4. Guilt

Alright guys thanks for reading. More will be coming soon. I just started my first semester in college so I am pretty busy but I will keep going. Don't forget to review. Thanks again!

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**Chapter 4: Guilt**

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Sorry this took so long to get here. Thanks again to my beta Renesmee4eva.

Thanks.

I do not own Twilight or any of it's characters. They belong to Stephenie Meyer.

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Carlisle POV

I sat in the small meadow holding my small, fragile daughter close to me. I squeezed her to my chest as tight as I could without hurting her.

_What did we do?_ I asked myself.

I looked down at the girl in my arms as she slept. She had dark circles under her eyes and her face was very pale. She was so skinny. All of her bones had become so prominent under her delicate skin. Her scent was even different, less prominent, as if all she had been doing for the past 7 months was slowly withering away.

I had never in my 300 years seen a human look so delicate and fragile.

I thought back to the look in her eyes when she asked if we were going to leave again. It was heart-wrenching. They were full of panic and fear.

We had caused so much pain to the person that had brought so much joy and happiness to all of the family. I now realized I had no right to call her my daughter. I had just abandoned her without so much as a goodbye. I had left her to suffer. I should not be allowed to hold her in my arms and try to comfort her from the pain that we had caused her. She should hate us for what we did, as we do ourselves, and yet she has a panic attack at the very thought of us leaving again.

I hoped desperately that our conversation had at least dissolved some of her pain and fear. I knew that I couldn't change what we had done but I would do everything in my power to try and heal the wounds we had inflicted. But even if by some miracle I was able to heal them, I knew that they would leave scars. No matter what I did there would always be that little voice in the back of her head reminding her of what we did to her.

I looked up at the sky and could tell that an awful storm was coming. The sky had big dark clouds and I could hear the thunder in the distance. I stood up, cradling Bella to my chest, and quickly made my way back to the house.

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BPOV

I woke up to a loud clap of thunder. I could hear rain pouring down on the roof.

_Great_.

I was in a large warm bed. It had a fluffy golden comforter on it and I swear the mattress was made of the most heavenly material known to man.

_Wait, where am I?_

I sat up to look around, only to get a head rush and fall back into the pillows.

"Bella?" I heard from across the room. This made be jump upright, but then practically melt back down into the bed when I got hit with waves of calm.

_Jasper._

"Jasper you scared me!" I said, my voice thick with sleep. I found him sitting in a chair in the corner of the room with a small grin on his face.

"My apologies Bella. I did not mean to," he said, sounding sincere.

I just shrugged in response. I still didn't know where I was or how I got here but having Jasper here calmed some of my unease. The last thing I remember was sitting in the meadow with Carlisle.

This time when I sat up to look around the room the world stayed were it was supposed to be. The walls were the same pale colour as the Cullen's house, so I assumed that that was where I was. There was a small lamp on a small wooden table next to the bed and a desk in the corner opposite of Jasper. There were papers and what looked like blue prints spread out on top of it. Next to that there was a bookshelf filled with textbooks.

"This is Carlisle and Esme's room, isn't it?" I asked.

"Yes," Jasper answered, then continued "Bella I wanted to talk to you."

He had a strange, almost sad look on his face.

"Is everything ok?" I asked. I suddenly remembered part of my conversation with Carlisle from earlier.

_Jasper felt guilty thinking that he was causing this whole mess._

Jasper chuckled without humour "I should be asking you that. I'm the one that is at fault for all of the pain that has come to you over the past months. I'm the one who tried to kill you. I'm the one that caused my family to have to leave. I'm the reason for so much pain in your life and you ask me if I'm alright. You should hate me. You shouldn't care if I am alright."

He stopped his rant taking a deep, unnecessary breath before looking me straight in the eye and continuing.

"Bella I am so sorry for what I've caused to happen to you. You didn't deserve any of it. Words cannot express how sorry I am."

I felt a lump in my throat and tried to hold back the tears that were forming in my eyes. Jasper was tearing himself up over this. This wasn't his fault. Yes, he lost control for a second but only because I was the one that gave myself a stupid paper cut.

"Jasper no," I said," This is not your fault. You just slipped up. It wasn't on purpose. It was just a stupid accident. I know you didn't mean to."

Why was I so stupid. If I weren't so fragile and clumsy none of this would have happened.

"It wasn't just some stupid accident Bella. I tried to kill you. Why are you so calm with me in the same room?" He looked down at the ground and said in a sad, quiet voice, "I can feel the anger coming off of you."

"I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at myself. I am the one that gave myself a paper cut. If I weren't such a fragile human then you wouldn't feel like this and none of this would have happened in the first place. And I am calm with you because I trust you." To prove my point, I got up off the bed and walked over to him and took his hand in mine. He looked at our hands with a sad expression. I didn't need his powers to feel the guilt still rolling off of him.

"I don't deserve it," he said in a broken voice.

"Of course you do Jasper," I said, putting as much force behind my words as I could.

He started shaking his head. "Why?_ I_ don't even trust myself. I even have Emmett waiting outside the door right now just in case I do something stupid."

"Jasper, if I can't trust my big brother then who can I trust?"

His head snapped up to look at me. He looked surprised. "What?" he asked.

I looked down at my feet feeling a little embarrassed. "I know you may not feel the same way, but to me, you and Emmett are like the big brothers that I never had. I love you guys," I said.

Jasper didn't say anything. I was still looking down at my feet. When I couldn't stand it anymore I looked up at his face. It showed total shock. I looked into his eyes and then all of a sudden I was wrapped in his cold arms. I had never been that close to Jasper before. It made me feel very calm.

"Of course I think of you as a sister Bella. I know that I don't show it very well but that is just because I am afraid of hurting you. I may never understand what goes on in that freaky head if yours though. I've done nothing to deserve you as a sister."

I pulled back and looked into his bright butterscotch eyes.

"What do you mean you have done nothing? Jasper, whenever I am sad or hurt you do everything you are capable of to make me feel better. During the time we were running from James I was a total mess. But you were there to help hold me together and protect me like any good brother would. I would have fallen apart if not for you. You helped save me when I was in the ballet studio. You have done more than enough to be called my brother. And what happened at my birthday party, and everything after, was not your fault. So quit thinking that it was. Got it?"

He paused then nodded and pulled me back into a tight hug.

"Thank you," he said. His voice sounded thick with emotion.

We just stood there in each others arms for a couple of minutes. Finally he pulled back.

"Come on Bella, Esme has some lunch ready for you," he said, already moving toward the door.

"What time is it? How long was I asleep?" I asked, starting to follow.

"Only a couple of hours. It is about 1:30," he answered.

I smiled at this. That means that Edward should be back soon. This brightened my mood considerably as I headed out the door behind Jasper.


	5. Happiness

I would like to start by saying how sorry I am for taking so long to post this chapter. It was a combination of writers block and distractions that made it take so long to get here but regardless here is the final chapter of my story.

I would again like to thank my beta, Renesmee4eva, for being awesome at making my word come across clearer and finding all of the stupid little mistakes that I made. Thanks!

And once more all rights belong to Stephenie Meyer.

Thanks everyone for reading!

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Previously...

_He paused then nodded and pulled me back into a tight hug._

_"Thank you," he said. His voice sounded thick with emotion._

_We just stood there in each others arms for a couple of minutes. Finally he pulled back._

_"Come on Bella, Esme has some lunch ready for you," he said, already moving toward the door._

_"What time is it? How long was I asleep?" I asked, starting to follow._

_"Only a couple of hours. It is about 1:30," he answered._

_I smiled at this. That means that Edward should be back soon. This brightened my mood considerably as I headed out the door behind Jasper._

…

As I came into the kitchen Esme greeted me happily. She was just finishing up a grilled cheese sandwich and popping it onto a plate for me. She set the plate down in front of me with a happy smile on her face.

"Thanks Esme," I told her with a smile of my own.

She kept smiling and waved it off as nothing. I finished it quickly then went and put my plate in the sink. I tried to wash it but Esme was having none of it and told me to go and see what the boys were up to in the living room.

I walked into the room to find Emmett playing a video game. Jasper was sitting in the chair right next to him reading a thick book. Carlisle was standing by the big glass wall staring out at the raging storm. I walked over and stood next to him. I watched as the wind blew with ferocious power and the rain, pounding down, flooded the ground. I suddenly remembered Charlie was out fishing today. I looked at the clock and realized that he should have been starting back to town about a half an hour ago. Anxiety forced its way to the surface; it was so unsafe to drive in this weather.

"Bella what's wrong?" Jasper asked from across the room, obviously feeling my anxiety. He got up and flashed towards me. Carlisle and Emmett were both looking at me with similar worried expressions.

"My dad went fishing today but this weather…" I trailed off letting another loud clap of thunder speak for itself. All three of them seemed to relax at the same time, which confused me. Didn't they care about Charlie?

"Don't worry Bella, he called about 45 minutes ago and said that he was staying in a place up near the lake. The roads are completely flooded up there. He also didn't want you to drive in this weather so he asked if you could stay here until the weather cleared up." Carlisle said.

I let out a breath that I didn't know I had been holding in relief. Charlie was safe. Plus, that meant that I got to spend more time with the Cullen's. Maybe this bad weather wasn't so bad after all. Jasper and Emmett went back to what they were doing and Carlisle threw his arm over my shoulders, giving me a light squeeze, while turning back to face the window again.

"So did you have a nice nap?" Carlisle asked. I blushed and ducked my head down, hiding behind my hair, as I remembered that I had fallen asleep in his lap.

"Umm, ya I guess. Sorry about falling asleep on you." I said; my voice clearly full of embarrassment. He didn't seem to mind though because he just chuckled in his bell-like manner.

"It was really no bother. I'm glad you got some rest, you looked exhausted." I gave off a slight shiver as my mind went back to why I was so tired, remembering the horrendous dream from last night. Carlisle, seeming to sense my train of thought, pulled me a little bit closer to his side. The words he had said earlier echoed in my mind at that point.

_I swear on my life that we will never leave you again_

I'm sure that I will always be haunted by the things that I saw in Volterra, but now that I finally let myself believe that I would not be left behind again all of the memories suddenly seemed to become manageable.

Carlisle lifted his head up, looking toward the back door, which was all of the warning I had before I was wrapped in a new set I arms that I recognized instantly. Edward.

He pulled back just enough to crush his marble lips to mine with such intensity that I forgot about everything in the world except for me and him. I forgot about my nightmares and the hell I had gone through. I forgot about all the worries I had about becoming a vampire. Heck, I even forgot about the room full of vampires, one of them practically being my father.

There was just me and him for the immeasurable amount of time that we were crushed together. He broke the kiss first, remembering my need to breathe before I did.

"I missed you," he said, stating the obvious. It still made my heat jump with excitement when I heard it.

"I missed you too," I said, looking deep into the bright butterscotch eyes I have missed so very much.

Another loud clap of thunder sounded through the house, bringing me back to reality. I realized that Edward's clothes were soaking wet from the rain, and in his haste, he had in turn soaked my clothes as well. I didn't really mind aside from how cold it was coming off of his cold stone body.

Seeming to notice the same thing, he smiled sheepishly at me. "Sorry."

Alice, who I hadn't even noticed come in, quickly came to my rescue with a stack of dry clothes.

"Thanks Alice," I said, not even bothering to ask why she had an extra set of clothes that happened to be my size. I quickly stretched up on my tippy toes and gave Edward a quick kiss before going to change. When I came back I found everyone was in the living room sitting with each other's respective mates. All except for a now dry Edward who I quickly joined on one of the couches.

I felt so safe and happy sitting there surrounded by all of my vampires. I felt better in that moment than I had in months. I felt like everything in me was lighter and at peace with the past events that had plagued me.

More importantly I finally felt truly loved again by the one person that meant the most to me.

End

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One final review would really make my day. Thanks again!


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